#selflove

Be intentional and get your Pink Back

~ Syraluna ~ Leave a comment

Happy New Year! Many of you know that I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions but I do set goals throughout the year, which I find easier to achieve. I had set the goal of being more intentional in my life. For example, I am more mindful about what I consume, how I spend my time, and who I am spending it with. Many of you know that I love fashion but few actually know that I love history and learning interesting facts about nature…this has a connection, I promise. While scrolling on TikTok, I learned a very interesting fact about my favourite animal..pink flamingos.

TikTok has been instrumental in me being intentional in my life. It has challenged my perspective on life in general. I follow, Shawnda, on TikTok and she shared that female Pink Flamingos lose their pink over time while caring for their young; they lose their pink to the point they turn grey or white. Flamingos’ colour can fade or disappear for many other factors as well such as environment or food but I find it fascinating that Pink flamingos are pouring everything that they have such as energy and food into their young and you can physically see the drain on them.

The creator poses the question “What is causing you to lose your “pink?” Who or what are you pouring into that is draining you of your energy, your inspiration…of your “pink.” Shandra then follows up the question ” How are you going to get your pink back? As a lover of all things pink, I had to make a post on this intriguing topic.

Personally, I realized I was losing my pink when I was over-extending myself. I would always say “yes” to my friends and my family even though I was beyond exhausted. I was the only one working on my marriage pouring everything I could into a relationship that was beyond repair. My environment was pure chaos and I felt pure exhaustion every time I would walk into the house. I literally could not heal and be productive. I had lost my pink.

Now I’m getting my pink back, literally and figuratively. “No” is a complete sentence. If at any point, I feel that I’m overextending myself and my pink is starting to dull, I step back and course correct. It’s been 2 years since my divorce and I started to get my pink back when I realized that I really did everything I could to save my marriage before signing the divorce papers. I have been very intentional about my environment; I’ve literally surrounded myself with pink. My bedroom decor is in pink, my bathroom is pink, my kitchen accessories are… you guessed it..pink.

I truly believe that everyone looks amazing in pink and it gives you an instant glow, even if you’re going through difficult times. So, I challenge you, to identify what is draining you of your pink and what are you going to do to get your pink back?

Happy New Year and get your pink back!

The Look of Self-Love

~ Syraluna ~ Leave a comment

Self-Care and Self-love look similar to one another and are often used interchangeably when discussing the topic of emotional healing. Social media often depicts self-care such as facials, manis-pedis, massages, or retail -therapy sessions. All of these are great forms of self-care and provide mini breaks from the stresses of daily life whereas, Self-love requires more than moments of self-care, it requires introspection.

Before my divorce, my self-care sessions were moments of distraction rather than self-reflection and self-care; they were moments of escape. However, after these moments, I would return to reality even more frustrated. Many of us have looked outward for personal fulfillment only to be disappointed or hurt. After a while, you have to learn to look within and learn self-love. This journey will look different for everyone but my journey started like this:

“Say No”. I would say “yes” because I didn’t set boundaries in my personal or professional relationships. I often overcommitted myself to the point that I had no personal time. It was so bad that I bought new outfits because I didn’t have time to do the laundry. Sleep seemed like a luxury that I thought I couldn’t afford. It was hard at first but learning that “no” is a complete sentence and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s a difficult start, but worth it in the end. You will not only set your boundaries but you’ll see people in a better light. Many people love “yes” people. because they’re self-sacrificing. They will deplete their emotional and spiritual reserves to keep the peace and make others happy. By implementing “no,” you’ll see who has been exploiting you and who is your true friend.

Self-reflection: I found journalling a potent tool for self-reflection. It allows you to recognize your shortcomings while documenting where you thrive and where you need to improve. You can pour your soul out on paper and look at your thoughts months or years later to see how far you’ve grown. Personally, writing my thoughts and goals down helps me be more accountable to myself. I had no problems showing up for others and often times neglection my own needs and interests. Be honest in your self-reflection, it doesn’t help you to falsify your faults. Acknowledgment and acceptance are tools in the step to recovery. It’s difficult to improve upon a problem within yourself when you fail to admit you have one. You have to accept responsibility for your role in your life and your relationships. , and accept responsibility for the role you played in the relationship.

Set Boundaries and Standards: Self-Love requires setting boundaries and protecting your peace. Setting boundaries initially will be hard and you may even feel some guilt about them but I promise you, this is a necessary step in your healing. And individuals that have a problem with your new boundaries are the individuals that benefited from you not having standards.

Self-Love is not a final destination. It is a lifelong journey that is filled with twists and turns. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll be in awe of what you have and will accomplish. Self-love is not selfish, self-love is self-care that well all deserve.